George George George | Verso.ink

George George George

By Linda Hogenson

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Once upon a time, in the kingdom of George, there was a King. His name was George George George… the five thousand six hundred forty-third. Thousands of generations ago, King George George George the second declared everyone in the city of George must be called George George George, and it had been that way ever since.

Now, King George the five thousand six hundred forty-third was a good king, and peace abounded during his reign. There had been a dispute between the fuzzy blueberries (more commonly known today as an immortal) and the sewer rats, but because of George’s (the leader of the fuzzy blueberries) great wisdom, the matter settled quickly.

One day King George George George walked about his kingdom, when a noise caught his attention. Closer investigation of the matter showed a beautiful, young woman in the marketplace causing quite a disturbance.

“George,” she called.

Several young men came running.

“No, no,” the woman said. “A different George.”

The men left dejectedly.

“George,” she called again.

Straightway, the men perked up and returned.

This went on for some time while King George watched. Finally, he’d had enough.

“Now see here,” King George snapped. “You. Maiden. What is your name?”

“George,” she replied.

“Well then, George,” the king said, “what do you mean by causing such a racket in the kingdom?”

“I am calling for my younger sister,” the woman answered hastily, “and these men won’t leave me alone.”

The King rounded on the men.

“What do you fellows mean by causing such a disturbance?”

The men hastily tried to explain, tripping over their words and competing with each other and creating more of a disturbance.

“Enough,” King George snapped. He pointed to a single man. “You. What is your name?”

“George George George, Sire,” the man answered.

“Well then, George George George. Tell me what is going on--”

And of course, all the men began jabbering away again, since none knew who King George spoke to. The matter did not get resolved and King George headed home greatly frustrated and troubled. He only had one recourse of action left. Ask George, the leader of the fuzzy blueberries.

No one quite knew where the fuzzy blueberries had gotten their name--they weren’t even blue--but it may have been because the first of them liked blueberries and the creatures themselves were very fuzzy. The fuzzy blueberries appeared to be giant balls of fur, though they must’ve had legs, since they could walk. The snouts of their faces barely poked out of their front, but their long beards often made it difficult to tell which end was their beard and which end was their tail.

King George summoned George George George at once, though the message brought a great deal of confusion as to who the king actually wanted. Finally, the oldest and the wisest of the fuzzy blueberries volunteered to see if it was he the king asked for.

That is how George George George came to stand before King George George George.

“You want me, Your Exalted Highness?”

Now the King hadn’t the slightest idea what exalted meant, but it sounded impressive, so he decided this was the blueberry he had sent for. But he still had to be sure.

“Are you George George George?” the king asked.

“I am,” the blueberry answered.

“Excellent,” King George said. “I have a dilemma of utmost seriousness. I fear the peasants want to start a riot.”

“I think not, Most High Majesty,” the blueberry said. “The problem, Sire, is that everyone is called George George George. How in the world are you supposed to tell who is who?”

“Easy,” King George replied. “I just ask for their name.”

“But their names are all the same. You have to change that law,” George explained.

King George was troubled for the rest of the day, but finally he decided the blueberry was right. The law needed to be changed.

The next day, he sent out the new decree that would solve the problem and change their world.

EVERYONE MUST BE CALLED FRED FRED FRED.

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About Linda Hogenson

I've written fantasy since I could write and have created stories since I could think. I grew up in a world of dragons and myth, and sometimes I tell people I know I am secretly the Empress of a distant land. While no one will bow to me on the streets, I'm still empowered by the vision of the way the world could be, and I will always defend it.

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